Health
Tend-and-Befriend Response: Definition, Examples, and More

Published
8 months agoon

When facing pain, sorrow, or uncertainty, how do you respond?
Do you lash out, railing against the injustices of the world? Or withdraw to nurse your grief and distress in private?
Much of the existing exploration into human stress responses tends to focus on these two main reactions: fight and flight. More recently, you may have also heard of two additional responses: freeze and fawn.
Yet even these four distinct responses can’t sum up everyone’s response to trauma and stress. In 2000, a team of University of California, Los Angeles psychologists led by Shelley Taylor proposed another, more social response, which they termed “tend and befriend.”
Rather than directly challenging a threat or fleeing from it, the tend-and-befriend response involves tending to your loved ones by pulling them close, physically or figuratively.
You might then turn to others around you, offering support and taking steps to make sure that everyone feels calm and safe.
Taylor’s research team found plenty of support for the idea that both long-standing social ties and newly formed bonds can:
- increase your sense of security
- boost resilience
- help you find the strength to heal and move forward
This idea of tending and befriending, which arose in part from their personal observations of how some people responded to stress, eventually became an evidence-backed theory.
Fighting and fleeing (or freezing, for that matter) have some pretty clear benefits, especially in the context of evolution. If you vanquish a threat or successfully escape from it, you survive to face another day.
Of course, breaking free alone could separate you from the rest of your group. This doesn’t just cost you the advantage of safety in numbers and cut you off from physical and emotional support. It also puts vulnerable members — young children, older adults, and sick people — at greater risk of danger.
Humans have a strong instinct for self-preservation. But for many mammal parents, particularly the human variety, a desire to ensure the safety of their children can outweigh the urge to save themselves first.
The tend-and-befriend response appears to have its roots in this instinctual need to protect children and affiliate with others for greater safety.
That said, you can easily apply it to everyday life, whether you have children or not.
Just think of a time you tried to handle a problem on your own, and then compare it to a time when you turned to your loved ones for help or a time when you reached out to offer assistance to someone navigating a crisis.
Tending and befriending behavior might show up more recognizably after a major crisis or trauma.
For example, say that a couple is hospitalized after a serious car crash. A close friend might care for their kids while the couple recovers.
Another example would be the supportive community of survivors that arises after an earthquake destroys an entire neighborhood.
But the tend-and-befriend response isn’t limited to large-scale events. It can show up in everyday challenges as well as extraordinary circumstances.
For example, you’re tending and befriending when you:
- offer to pick up groceries and prescriptions for older or immunocompromised neighbors
- invite your new neighbor to stay for the duration of a severe winter storm
- pull your family into the kitchen to make dinner together after a miserable day at work
- send your kids and their cousins to play in the backyard with snacks so your sister can share her recent relationship difficulties
- gather a group of co-workers together for mutual support after your boss announces your office is closing, with only a few opportunities for transfer to another branch
In some cases, this response might happen as more of a follow-up to your initial stress response.
For example, say that you’re walking home from a friend’s party when your ex comes up behind you, grabs your arm, and tries to pull you toward their car. You shove them away and run, using both your fight and flight responses.
Once you make it to your friend’s house, you explain what happened, let them comfort you, and stay the night where you feel safe. Their support helps soothe your fear and distress, and by morning, you feel much calmer.
Experts have offered a few potential explanations for the tend-and-befriend response.
Gender roles in early human hunter-gatherer societies play an important part.
Certainly, some women did hunt, but they often took on other responsibilities closer to camp, especially when pregnant, nursing, or caring for small children.
People with babies and small children couldn’t easily escape or fight — but they could band together to protect each other and create a stronger group. Together, they could defend themselves more effectively, and survival became more likely.
Hormones also factor in.
During stressful or frightening situations, your body produces a number of hormones, including adrenaline and cortisol, that help prepare you to handle the threat. It also releases oxytocin, a hormone linked to bonding, attachment, and trust.
Higher levels of oxytocin might prompt you to seek companionship and form social connections. Yet estrogen — a hormone present at higher levels in women — can boost oxytocin’s effects.
As a result, women may be more likely to tend to loved ones and befriend others in times of crisis.
Nurturing children and loved ones can also activate the reward system in your brain, reinforcing the same behavior in the future.
Keep in mind, though, that the tend-and-befriend theory doesn’t suggest that women never show aggression when threatened or stressed — only that female aggression seems less linked to fight or flight.
It’s also important to recognize that this response is just that — a stress response, not a marker of parenting skills. Anyone can engage in these behaviors, regardless of gender.
To put it another way, the theory doesn’t imply that women are automatically better at nurturing and caring for children.
Ever felt stronger and more optimistic during a crisis, simply because you had a loved one by your side?
Experts consider social connection a basic human need, and plenty of
Humans generally don’t do well entirely on their own. Tend and befriend represents a choice to come together, approach challenges as a stronger whole, and offer a helping hand to anyone who needs it.
The bonds you form with others can:
- offer protection and support
- improve your physical health and emotional well-being
- boost empathy
- promote feelings of belonging
- lead to personal growth
- remind you of what you value most in life
Learn more about the benefits of friendship, plus how to get them.
Admittedly, this response may not always be ideal. You won’t always want to tend and befriend — at least not right away. In certain situations, you might choose to address a conflict or threat directly before turning to loved ones for solace and support.
What’s more, everyone needs some time alone, and it’s perfectly fine to briefly withdraw and recharge during a rough time.
Just know that support from others can make a big difference, whenever you choose to seek it out.
Tending and befriending doesn’t come naturally to everyone, but you can still learn to embrace this response when you think it might have benefit.
One important step? Don’t be afraid to ask for help. It’s OK if you can’t handle everything on your own.
If you feel self-conscious when you need support, you can always try offering something in exchange. Here’s an example:
“Any chance you could come over and help me entertain the kids tonight? I’m having a hard time getting out of bed. I’ll take yours for a night next week, once I’m feeling better.”
Asking others what they need can go a long way, too. They might find it just as difficult to ask for help, so offering your assistance — or simply letting them know you’re available — can help you forge a connection that benefits you both.
During moments of difficulty and distress, you might find yourself turning to loved ones or cultivating new connections with people facing the same challenging circumstances.
At the heart of the tend-and-befriend response lies a sense of safety and hope. Things might feel pretty awful in the moment, sure.
Yet drawing on the strength of supportive loved ones, and offering your own physical and emotional support where possible, can help you better navigate turmoil and pain.
Crystal Raypole writes for Healthline and Psych Central. Her fields of interest include Japanese translation, cooking, natural sciences, sex positivity, and mental health, along with books, books, and more books. In particular, she’s committed to helping decrease stigma around mental health issues. She lives in Washington with her son and a lovably recalcitrant cat.
Read the full article here
Bobby focuses on creating higher margins while investing in society. He believes that our World has room for improvement, and one of his goals is to be part of the evolutionary process. What makes him successful is the collaboration with founders and partners. Bobby has a successful track record in envisioning and creating deals and opportunities from scratch in various industries.

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Over the past few decades, we’ve come a long way in how we view and talk about mental health.
And that should come as no surprise, because 1 in 5 adults in the United States lives with a mental health condition. Many people are also becoming more open to the idea of sharing their personal experiences.
But there’s still a stigma surrounding mental health. It’s a stigma, in fact, that affects millions of people around the world who live with mental health conditions. It affects everything from their social relationships and professional opportunities to the way they view themselves.
We’ll explore more about what mental health stigma is, and how we can all work to address this and improve the lives of people living with mental health conditions.
Mental health is often stigmatized because of a lack of understanding about what mental health conditions are and what it’s like to live with a mental health condition. Stigma can also arise from personal thoughts or religious beliefs about people who have mental health conditions.
Generally, the lack of understanding about mental health — as well as the harmful assumptions about people living with mental health conditions — is at the heart of a bias or stigma. This can result in avoidance, rejection, infantilization, and other discriminations against people who are neurodivergent or have a mental health condition.
We often use the word “stigma” to describe the overarching experience that people have. However, there are actually three types of stigma: public stigma, self-stigma, and institutional stigma.
- Public stigma: This refers to the negative attitudes around mental health from people in society.
- Self-stigma: This describes the internalized stigma that people with mental health conditions feel about themselves.
- Institutional stigma: This is a type of systemic stigma that arises from corporations, governments, and other institutions.
While there are many examples of mental health stigma in society, here are some of the more common instances you might notice:
- When people are viewed as attention-seeking or weak when they try to reach out and get professional help.
- When others use harmful language, such as “crazy” or “insane”, to judge or trivialize people who have mental health conditions.
- When people make jokes about mental health or certain conditions.
- When people avoid others with certain mental health conditions, like schizophrenia, because of fear or misunderstanding.
- When family or friends tell someone with depression that they can get better if they just “work out and get more sun,” or make other unhelpful judgments.
- When someone living with a mental health condition views themselves as worthless or talks down to themselves because of their condition.
- When companies refuse to hire someone or provide them with adequate accommodations because of their mental health.
- When people view examples of neurodivergence as illnesses or something to be cured.
A
According to the study results, from roughly 1996 to 2006, people became more knowledgeable about mental health — including acknowledging differences between daily experiences and symptoms of diagnosable conditions.
And from around 2006 to 2018, there was a significant decrease in social stigma against depression — specifically, less desire to be socially distanced from people with depression. However, when it came to schizophrenia and alcohol dependence, not only did social stigma increase but so did negative perceptions of these conditions.
Another earlier study from 2018 took a slightly different approach in analyzing the social perception of mental and physical health conditions. In this study, researchers used automated software to track over a million tweets related to mental health and physical health over a 50-day period.
According to the results of the study, mental health conditions were more likely to be stigmatized and trivialized than physical health conditions. And the results varied by condition — with schizophrenia being the most stigmatized, and obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) being the most trivialized.
Intersectionality refers to how someone’s intersecting identities — such as race, gender, sexuality, or class — contribute to their own unique experience with discrimination and oppression.
When it comes to mental health, intersectionality can play a huge role not only in someone’s overall mental health, but also in how mental health stigma affects them.
For example,
Another
According to the researchers, less than 20% of the men who were referred to mental healthcare from the clinic continued to receive the recommended care — often as a result of increased social and professional stigma for men to go without mental healthcare of any kind.
Mental health stigma can have a hugely negative impact on the lives of people living with mental health conditions. In fact, stigma can often lead to mental, social, or even professional consequences for the people who are stigmatized.
Mental
People living with mental health conditions are more likely to experience low self-esteem and lower self-confidence if they’re stigmatized.
Stigma may lead to difficulty seeking treatment or even following through with treatment. And some people may experience increased symptoms of their condition, or even develop new ones — like anxiety or depression — because of experiencing stigma.
Self-stigma may even hinder someone’s ability to recover from a mental health condition. In one smaller
Social
Social mental health stigma may lead to isolation from friends or family. People with mental health conditions may experience bullying or harassment from others — or possibly even physical violence.
And when others have a judgmental view of mental health, it can be difficult for people living with these conditions to build relationships with them.
Professional
Stigma in the professional world can lead to fewer opportunities to excel at school and fewer opportunities to advance at work. People living with mental health conditions may have difficulty fulfilling school or work obligations — especially if they have trouble with classmates, teachers, coworkers, or bosses.
It’s not just classmates or colleagues who contribute to mental health stigma in a professional setting, either.
Stigma comes from everywhere — institutions, society, and even ourselves. But we can all take steps to address and reduce the stigma of mental health:
- Learn about mental health: One of the most important steps toward reducing mental health stigma is to learn more about it. Learning what mental health conditions look like and who they can affect can help reduce some of the fear, misunderstanding, and judgment around them.
- Use words carefully: When we use words with negative associations, like “insane” or “crazy”, we contribute to the judgment and stigmatization of others. It may take some effort to change the way we speak, but it can help reduce the stigma that people with mental health conditions face.
- Take part in campaigns: Many mental health organizations, like NAMI, create fundraising campaigns to help bring awareness and provide funding for mental healthcare. Even if you can’t get directly involved, these campaigns are a great way to learn more about people living with mental health conditions.
- Share your story: If you’re someone living with a mental health condition, one of the most powerful tools for reducing stigma is to share your story. By educating people on what it’s like to live with a mental health condition, we can help reduce the misunderstanding and judgment that people feel.
Mental health stigma plays a significant role in the lives of people with mental health conditions — from the way that they’re treated to the way they feel about themselves. But we can take steps to reduce this stigma.
By being more mindful about how we speak to others, learning more about what it’s like to live with a mental health condition, and sharing our stories when we’re living with these conditions, we can help reduce the stigma surrounding mental health.
Read the full article here

Eating candy can be a controversial topic for people with diabetes.
Misconceptions about sugar and candy being off-limits for people with diabetes can be found in the public mindset, in media and entertainment, and within the medical community itself.
With the Halloween season upon us, both kids and adults with diabetes as well as their loved ones and friends may face this issue even more often than at other times of the year.
This article will explore if people with diabetes can actually eat (and enjoy) candy, how much may be allowed, and whether sugar-free candy is worth considering.
Short answer: Yes, people with diabetes can eat candy.
Adults and children with diabetes (no matter the type) are just as entitled to a sweet treat occasionally as anyone else. Like everything else, details and context matter most, and moderation is key for anyone living with diabetes when it comes to food choices. High sugar foods and drinks can impact glucose levels more quickly and dramatically, so understanding how those influence your diabetes management is important.
People with diabetes must consider extra planning if they want to eat candy. They need to be cognizant about counting carbohydrates and dosing insulin correctly if they happen to use that hormone to help manage their condition.
It’s important to remember, too, that people with diabetes are typically watching the total carbohydrate count of food and drink, and not necessarily honing in on the sugar content.
While candy can make blood sugars rise more quickly, it’s that carb count that needs to be watched when consuming a piece of candy. The same applies to sugar-free candy, which also contains a certain amount of carbohydrates and that needs to be considered when factoring that food choice into your diabetes management.
Certain candies, such as those containing peanut butter or nuts, can take longer to impact blood sugars and won’t lead to as dramatic spikes immediately after eating them. However, other regular candies with sugar can cause quick spikes in blood sugar, and some medical professionals suggest eating a piece of candy closer to mealtime in order to “soften the blow” of a sudden spike in blood sugar.
Of course, you’ll still need to account for the calories and carbs contained within the candy.
While sugar-free candy certainly doesn’t get an award for being “healthy” per se, many people with diabetes (especially children) turn to it as an alternative to regular candy. The thought is that sugar-free candy may be healthier for blood sugar levels.
Sugar-free candy is made with artificial sweeteners, meaning that it can have a lighter impact on blood sugar levels.
However, a common misconception is that sugar-free candy does not impact blood sugar. It does, in fact, contain carbohydrates and calories. That means you still need to dose insulin or take glucose-lowering diabetes medications for those sugar-free candies.
If someone with non-insulin dependent diabetes is being mindful of their weight, eating sugar-free candy is not a free pass for sweets. These sugar-free options may sabotage weight loss efforts due to their high calorie content.
A non-diabetes-related benefit of sugar-free candy is that it’s kinder to teeth. Absent of the higher sugar contents, these sugar-free treats don’t lead to as much tooth decay or cavities often linked to frequent sugar consumption.
Additionally, there’s usually not a very big difference in terms of total fat or protein content in sugar-free versus regular candy.
- stevia
- sucralose
- aspartame
- saccharin
The big issue with sugar-free candy comes down to sugar alcohols in those treats, which can have some negative effects depending on how much you eat.
In this
Side effects included:
- diarrhea
- nausea and upset stomach
- bloating
- excess gas
The study participants who were given sugar experienced no such side effects.
Sugar alcohols are considered fermentable oligosaccharides, disaccharides, monosaccharides, and polyols, or a type of FODMAP. These are food molecules that some people cannot digest easily, especially when eaten in large quantities.
Sugar alcohols can also cause a laxative effect, especially if you’re prone to stomach issues.
While they contain fewer calories than sugar, they’re not calorie-free. Eating any treat in excess can inhibit weight loss or cause weight gain.
Eating sugar-free candy made with artificial sweeteners can also cause side effects, including interrupting the gut microbiome that is important to your health.
A
While it may not be the healthiest low snack, treating any low blood sugar with fast-acting sugar can be helpful.
Some candies that contain sugar are very fast-acting. However, some others (including those with chocolate or peanut butter) have higher fat content and are slower to digest and take longer to impact blood sugars, so they may not be appropriate to treat severe hypoglycemia quickly enough.
Another con of eating candy to treat low blood sugars is that it can react quickly and if you eat too much, it may cause higher blood sugars (rebound highs).
Make sure to consult your diabetes care team about any concerns or questions relating to candy and treating low blood sugars.
Yes, children and adults with diabetes can and do eat candy. The key is moderation and making sure to track the number of carbohydrates and calories eaten. Sugar-free candies can be better for blood sugar levels, but they still contain carbs and calories. The sugar-alcohols in these treats can also cause upset stomach, nausea, diarrhea, and excess gas.
Candy can be used to treat hypoglycemia, but it may not always be appropriate for urgent low blood sugars requiring glucagon or emergency medical assistance.
Read the full article here
Health
Where Can I Go for Medical Care Without Insurance?

Published
5 months agoon
October 27, 2022
Finding affordable healthcare without insurance may seem daunting, but there are more options than you may think. Here are more than 18 resources that can provide assistance.
It’s no secret that accessing healthcare can be very expensive. If you don’t have insurance, those costs are even higher. In fact, 85% of uninsured people in the United States reported that paying for healthcare was difficult in 2022.
Fortunately, there are resources that can help you find and pay for medical care without insurance. You can find care at low or no cost with a variety of programs designed to help people without health insurance get the care they need.
Yes, you can get medical care if you don’t have health insurance.
In the United States, hospital emergency rooms are required to provide treatment regardless of insurance or ability to pay.
Additionally, there are many medical facilities that provide routine care to people who don’t have insurance. You will be asked to pay for any care you receive, but there are ways to find healthcare at a lower cost.
There are a variety of options for seeking care if you don’t have insurance. Many of these options are designed to be affordable. In some cases, you might be able to get certain healthcare services for free.
You can find low cost or free care in several locations:
Community health centers
Community health centers are nonprofit health clinics that offer low cost or free care. Often, fees are set on an income-based sliding scale, and staff will work with you to determine your costs.
The exact services offered by a community health center depend on the location but generally include:
- preventive healthcare
- basic healthcare
- family planning services
- vaccinations
- chronic condition management
Some community health centers also offer prescription medications and dental care. You can search for community health centers near you by checking here.
State or county departments of health
Your state or county department of health might cover certain healthcare services for eligible residents. Often, this includes access to preventive care, such as vaccines or screenings.
You might need to register in advance and prove that you reside in the county or state to receive free care.
You can search for your local department of health here.
Urgent care and walk-in clinics
Urgent care centers and walk-in clinics offer care without an appointment. Often, these facilities offer reduced cost care for people who don’t have insurance. Some urgent care centers list costs for standard services on their websites.
You can also call ahead to talk with a representative about fees and possible cost reductions for people without insurance.
Pharmacy care clinics
Pharmacies, including the pharmacies inside major national chains such as Walmart, often provide preventive care services for free. These services are normally provided during health clinics held on specific days.
Services offered can vary but typically include:
You can check with your local pharmacy about any upcoming clinics, or search online for pharmacy clinics in your area.
Teaching hospitals
If you have a teaching hospital in your area, you might be able to receive care at a reduced rate. The exact care you can access at a reduced rate depends on the hospital and the needs of the medical students.
You can call the teaching hospital and ask whether they offer any reduced cost care.
Employer-sponsored wellness programs
Some employers offer wellness programs to their employees. In many cases, this includes preventive healthcare, such as annual vaccines and healthcare screenings.
You can check in with your human resources department if you’re not sure what healthcare benefits are part of your employer’s wellness program.
The National Association of Free & Charitable Clinics
You can use the National Association of Free & Charitable Clinics website to search for health clinics and pharmacies in your area that offer free or low cost services.
The association is dedicated to caring for people who are uninsured or underinsured. There are more than 1,400 clinics and pharmacies in the association.
If you need assistance paying for care, you have a handful of options:
Charity care
Some states offer charity care that reduces the cost of medical care for people who meet income requirements. If you qualify, you can receive low cost or free medical care.
In certain states, people are screened automatically. In other states, you will need to apply for the program.
Medicaid
Medicaid is a federal program that provides healthcare for people who meet income requirements. Each state oversees its own Medicaid program. Income limits and exact coverage vary by state.
You can find your state’s Medicaid website here.
Children’s Health Insurance Program (CHIP)
The Children’s Health Insurance Program (CHIP) is a federal program that provides healthcare for children. Just like Medicaid, qualifying for the program depends on income level. Each state sets its own income limits and coverage varies.
You can read about CHIP in your state here.
The Hill-Burton program
The Hill-Burton program provides funds to participating hospitals and healthcare facilities in exchange for offering a set amount of free or low cost care to people who meet income requirements.
You will need to apply for the Hill-Burton program with the admissions or business department of the healthcare facility. You can find a directory of Hill-Burton facilities here.
Aunt Bertha
Aunt Bertha is a social and human services database you can search to find programs in your area. This includes programs that can help you pay for healthcare.
You can enter your ZIP code and a category to find programs that will meet your needs.
Keeping prescription costs low is a great way to lower your overall healthcare costs. Here are some options:
Prescription drug manufacturer programs
The makers of many prescription drugs offer programs to help people afford their medications. You can often join these programs to get your medication at low or no cost. You might need to meet certain income requirements to qualify.
You can use RXAssist to search a database of manufacturer programs.
GoodRx
GoodRx is a website that will show you the prices of your medication at stores in your local area. It can also show prices at online and mail-order pharmacies. By comparing pharmacies, you can find the lowest price.
Plus, GoodRx will even help you find coupons and manufacturer discounts.
Pharmacy memberships
Walmart, CVS, and other pharmacies have membership programs that can save you money. By signing up for these programs, you can get access to discounts on your medication. You can also earn discounts to use on other pharmacy purchases.
Grants for charitable organizations can cover your medical costs. Some examples include:
The PAN Foundation
The PAN Foundation helps uninsured people who have received a diagnosis of a life threatening, chronic, or rare disease pay for their medical care. You can see a list of conditions the foundation currently provides assistance for on its website.
If you have a condition listed on the site, you can instantly check your eligibility and can then apply online for a grant.
The HealthWell Foundation
The HealthWell Foundation helps uninsured people with certain medical conditions pay for their medical expenses. You can see their list of covered conditions on its website.
If you have a condition covered on the site, you can apply for a grant that will cover your medical expenses.
Good Days
Good Days is an organization that can help people with chronic and acute conditions pay for their medical treatments. You can check out the list of covered conditions here.
Applications for assistance are available in both English and Spanish.
There are a few additional options you can explore to get access to lower cost or free healthcare. If you haven’t already, consider doing the following:
- Ask the hospital or doctor’s office about installment payment programs.
- Search for programs specific to a health condition you have.
- Apply for low cost health insurance on the Health Insurance Marketplace.
- If you’re a veteran, apply for VA benefits.
- Sign up for clinical trials in your area to help researchers study new treatments.
- Consider telehealth for conditions that don’t need in-person care.
You can learn more about accessing medical care without insurance by reading answers to common questions.
When can I enroll in Medicaid?
If you qualify for Medicaid, you can enroll at any time. Check out your state’s Medicaid website for income limits and other details.
What if I can’t pay an emergency room bill?
In an emergency, getting care is your No. 1 priority. But this can leave you with a bill that is outside of your budget, especially if you don’t have insurance.
However, medical bills are often negotiable. In many cases, you can call the hospital’s billing department to work out a plan.
If you’re unable to work out a plan with the hospital, there are nonprofit organizations that can help you apply for debt forgiveness.
Will healthcare professionals treat me if I don’t have insurance?
It’s illegal for healthcare professionals to refuse care in an emergency.
This isn’t the case for nonemergency care. Most healthcare professionals will list payments they accept on their websites.
If private pay is listed, you can get treatment without insurance. If it’s not, it’s best to call in advance to make sure the healthcare professional accepts patients who don’t have insurance.
You have options for receiving medical care even when you don’t have health insurance. There are several sources you can turn to for care, prescriptions, payment help, and more. Some programs are limited to certain states or certain health conditions.
Additionally, you will need to meet income requirements to qualify for some of these programs. If you don’t, options like telehealth and urgent care can help you cut costs.
You can also look into getting affordable insurance through the Health Insurance Marketplace.
Read the full article here

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