Audrina Patridge is opening up like never before about her time as a reality TV star and her past public romances. ET’s Denny Directo spoke with The Hills star about what fans can expect from her new book, Choices: To the Hills and Back Again, which will be released on July 26.

In her memoir, Patridge writes about her intense connection with her on-off flame, Justin Bobby Brescia, and how she’s never had that spark like that with anyone else. “Justin is always going to be that guy. Everyone has that guy,” she explains of her ex. “I guess I haven’t met anyone that I have felt that spark or that chemistry with [like] him. Maybe I shouldn’t compare that or try to find that again. I don’t know.”

The 37-year-old reality star adds, “It’s like when you look at someone and you make eye contact and you feel like you’ve known them forever, but you just met. I haven’t found that yet.”

As for whether she’d ever rekindle her relationship with Justin Bobby, Patridge tells ET, “We’re friendly. I talked to him maybe five or six months ago. Justin is a nomad. He is a traveler. He’s a gypsy. I mean, there is no holding that guy down. I don’t know where he is.”

When it comes to Corey Bohan, her ex-husband and father of her 6-year-old daughter, Kirra, Patridge has no intention of starting that back up again. In fact, she admits that she “honestly did not want to include any” details of their relationship in her book.

“He was such a huge part of my life, and it was no secret it was a toxic relationship. …The divorce was public, so that’s not something that I could just pretend, ‘Oh, it never happened,'” she shares. “I had to include that. So, it’s done. I feel like I wanted it to be done in a very respectful way. Not that I am bashing him, but this is the truth, and this is what happened and my perspective.”

In the book, Patridge claims that Bohan was verbally abusive to her throughout their relationship, and often accused her of cheating on him. 

“At the time I was like, ‘Why is he accusing me of this? I would never do that.’ Then three or four months later you find out, ‘Oh, he was doing that,'” Patridge says, implying the 40-year-old BMX rider was unfaithful to her. “It was just a learning experience.”

Patridge notes, “You’re blinded by love. You’re blind and then when you’re outside of that bubble and you wake up, you see everything so differently.”

In her book, Patridge writes about a time when Bohan allegedly pushed her while she was holding their daughter. “That was the breaking point,” she tells ET. “We were going through such a hard time. …It’s one thing if it was just me but when she was there and there’s no self-control over your emotions and the fact that your child is right here, that did it for me.”

In a statement to ET, Bohan denied the allegation.

“As far as her claims of me pushing her while holding Kirra that’s beyond anything that ever happened,” the statement reads in part. “Drunk etc while watching Kirra is absolutely made up.”

“I was investigated by the DA’s office and did multiple evaluations, seen professional therapists, dealt with social workers, completed parenting courses, behavioral courses etc, seen and spoke with professionals covering everything and every subject you can think of,” the statement also reads, referring to their highly publicized court battle. “I learnt a lot and still nothing about me raised alarms, nor was I found questionable and most importantly did anything actually take place in regards to violence or child sexual abuse.”

Meanwhile, it’s the reality star’s hope that her book can help other people get out of bad situations. “I feel like a lot of women are afraid to leave a toxic relationship because they feel stuck, or they can’t get out of it,” she says. “You have to have a support system and you have to draw the line and have boundaries and work on yourself and get a therapist or have a best friend or someone. You need support, you can’t do it on your own.”

Now that she’s done “so much healing in therapy,” Patridge admits that it’s “a little cringey” to go back and watch who she was on The Hills. “I see this young 19-year-old who has no idea what she’s in for and and the relationships she is about to go through and what she’s about to experience in her life — but with the public picking her apart,” she explains. “I was just so naive and young and innocent — but so trusting.”

Patridge says it was the birth of her daughter that made her look at life differently. “Motherhood changed me in so many ways. It changed my perspective on life, my perspective on people and situations and my future and my priorities. It just changed everything.”

For more with Patridge, check out Choices: To the Hills and Back Again, out July 26.

If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233, or go to thehotline.org. All calls are toll-free and confidential.